Depression
Depression stinks.
I have come to realize that I will always been on medication. I keep trying to go off, but I sink.
the thing of it is, it doesn't "feel" like depression; at least not the depression of my teens or twenties or post-partum. I imagine it always changing Now it looks like; feelings of inadequacy ten-fold, devastation and despair. It feels out of control. I feel like a big fraud. Things seems bad enough on some days, that I wonder what the point is. Why stay alive with all the shit we have to deal with in this world, all the sadness, loss, disappointment and work. All is takes is one look at your local news to see that the world sucks and it isn't getting any better.
I get overwhelmed easily when I am not on my meds; things pack on like snow coming down a mountain during an avalanche.
feeling immobile.
I have come to realize that I will always been on medication. I keep trying to go off, but I sink.
the thing of it is, it doesn't "feel" like depression; at least not the depression of my teens or twenties or post-partum. I imagine it always changing Now it looks like; feelings of inadequacy ten-fold, devastation and despair. It feels out of control. I feel like a big fraud. Things seems bad enough on some days, that I wonder what the point is. Why stay alive with all the shit we have to deal with in this world, all the sadness, loss, disappointment and work. All is takes is one look at your local news to see that the world sucks and it isn't getting any better.
I get overwhelmed easily when I am not on my meds; things pack on like snow coming down a mountain during an avalanche.
feeling immobile.
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